TWITTER CRUSH : I HAVE ONE

Okay so I have a Twitter Crush. Yes its not just a trending topic on twitter my #twittercrush is real! I had this #twittercrush before it was a topic...so I am kinda happy I am not the only one who has one.

Anyways this is just so innocent. I know the dude. The dude knows me. I went to school with him (I will not disclose whether it was high school or college). He has NO idea that I like him (at least via twitter). We dont talk like that. But I think he is extremely cute...and I like his twitter statuses. LOL

Its one of those things that you never really thought about that person like that, maybe some time went by and you noticed the older we got, the cuter that person has become. Or maybe that person has changed in more ways than one since you met them.

Its crazy that I have a #twittercrush because I probably haven't had a real crush since high school. I think its cute, I think he is cute, but maybe that is just it. Its a cute little internet thing. I actually feel kinda LAME for it because I am a GROWN woman and I shouldnt have crushes period! I should just DM @(twittercrushname) my number, tell him to call me, and tell him that we should link up or something. Maybe I should tweet him LOL :-)

Its not like I dont know him. He knows my name. We live in the same state so its not like it would be an issue. I know he is single, I guess I am single so what is my problem? I am a LAME and yes there is a possiblity I might want more than just a #twittercrush with this person...but for now thats is all its gonna be.

Who knows what might happen though. Maybe I will Drink & Tweet and tell him how I feel. Maybe...maybe not.Who knows..

KIWI & BIRTHDAY SEX

Me being semi-sexy. I love this song!

There is more...maybe I will put it up another day. Enjoy.

GET TO KNOW THE RANDOM KIWI

Hey folks.

I been slacking once again, and yet again I am sorry. I try my best but somethings just do not work the way I want them to.

So I am gonna give you a little catch up and give you reasons why you should love my crazy a**

1. I used to want to be an obstertican(person who delievers babies) when I was younger. I loved pregnant people and I was alway curious with it and wanted learn about child birth. I used to watch "A Baby Story" on TLC all the time and then after a while I just thought I couldnt do it because its nasty! LOL

2. Speaking of TLC...I loved them as a child. They were my all time favorite group ever! CRAZYSEXYCOOL was played on repeat all the time in my house.

3. I a terribly afraid of needles and blood. Like I will try to watch something educational on TV but if they show needles or blood I will like be on the verge of passing out. Ironically I love scary movies...but if I watch a graphic movie like SAW or something...I wanna pass out with that too. Its crazy!

4. Sometimes I think I am slightly psychic because everything I sing a song in my head, I will turn on the radio and that song will be playing. It happens all the time!

5. I am addicted to Wal-Mart. I have not been to Walmart in a week...THATS A BREAKTHROUGH FOR ME. I cannot go to Wal-Mart without buying less than 5 things and I always buy something that I intially did not go in there to buy-The DEVIL!

6. I was kind of a tomboy growing up, I grew up with lots of guys and had so many guy friends, but I hated SPORTS! So the girly girl always came out-I wasnt a full blown Tomboy. More like a Tomgirl...IDK

7. My first memory dates back to my first birthday. Right before I blew out the candle ( I think I blew out the candle).

8. I am very very EMPATHETIC.I cry all the time at stuff I seen in movie or on TV. I am so freaking sensitive its ridiculous. Whether it was something sad or beautiful I will cry.

9. I love my eyes but I hate when people just stare at them...and then go get other people to go look at my eyes. I feel like an alien or something. I remember and also my mom told me when I was younger people would tell my mom and look at me "She has pretty eyes" and I would shut my eyes really tight so that they couldnt look into my eyes anymore. LOL

10. Alot of people say before they met me that they would think I am quite or stuck up. But when they get to know me they usually say I am the funniest person and my personality is the complete opposite of what they thought I would be. THATS WHY YOU DONT JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER!

11. If I have any children...I would love a boy first. Because I never had an older brother and always wanted one, so I would want a boy first to protect his little sister(if I even have another child). I also hope that if my children pick up on my eye color gene, then I would want my son to have the trait and not the girl.

12.I sometimes hate how I am so skinny but have hips because alot of clothes, especially jeans do not fit me properly. Its so annoying!

13.People always assume that I am taller that I am. I am only 5'5 1/2 I have been this exact height since I was 13 and never grew that half an inch. So I cannot try out for TOP MODEL and I am positive I am not 5'7!

14. Speaking of height I love tall guy. If he is 6 ft or taller I like melt. I love love love TALL MEN! It makes me feel more feminine and I dont have to worry about if I wearing heels.

15. I sleep with a Bear name Val every night. I am never loney and Val keeps me company. DONT JUDGE ME.

16. Okay this is my nerdy side. I like to sometimes when I really wanna get away from it all I go to the bookstore and READ. Thats right I said it I like to READ BOOKS! I will sit my happy a** in a bookstore for hours and read all types of books. ITS RELAXS ME AND GIVE ME PEACE...YOU SHOULD TRY IT.

17.Speaking of Peace I am starting to do alot of mediating. Listening to soothing music and positive affirmation via Youtube during my chriopractor therapy sessions and before I go to bed...its is so peaceful...TRY THIS TOO. If you want to start this is what I am listening too ---->MEDITATION ON SELF LOVE HERE (close your eyes and do this on your bed u might go to sleep)

18.I am trying to get more of my grown and sexy on lately. I like going to new spots and lounges with pretty low-key settings.

19. I am a camera whore and I am going to Prove it to you. Dont ask me who took these pictures either! Nonayah!

Check out my other blog-----> LIVE.LOVE.LEARN by Kiwi

I HAVE RESURFACED!

Again sorry for my delay on updating blogs.

It is very very difficult blogging through an i-touch and going to my college's library to use the internet. It sucks not having the resources to do what you need to do (besides blogging of course).

But God is so so so so good, I was able to get access to another laptop. Once again someone felt sorry for the poor recent-grad-who-is-so-broke-she-cant-afford-to-buy-her-own-laptop-and-no-one-would-get-her-one-as-a-grad-gift so I have access to a computer again. Yes! But again only temporary relief...

I want to put out there that I am very sad still that the King of Pop and pretty much the entire music industry, the LATE AND GREAT MICHAEL JACKSON. I know he is in heaven living peacefully and can finally be left alone (although he probably was pissed about the BS that was the BET AWARDS this year. WTF was they thinking)?

Anyways I been on another level lately. I have been on my up and up with highs and positivity...and my low of lows with alot of other things beyond my control. I decided I am also branching my blog into another blog which will be my more personal side. I have alot of emotions and feelings I need to let loose, and I cant do it on here because this is like my "random" happy go lucky blog I should say. I crack jokes and make fun of people, or just post about the highlights of my life or whatever.

So LIVE.LOVE.LEARN by Kiwi is active now.
------->http://www.livelovelearnbykiwi.blogspot.com/

This is my personal blog of me living,loving, and of course learning. Its really personal and I will let all of my emotional run free here. I will leave this blog to be my more upbeat blog and the other one for lifes lessons (not all boring and depressing). I am very sensitive so it will all be exposed there. Check it out and continue to support me where ever I go & post.

PEACE & BLESSINGS EVERYONE.

THE FACE OF A COLLEGE GRADUATE

Hi Everyone!

Ignore the date at the bottom, I graduate yesterday [May 18th, 2009]

Yes it is over and I am ready for the world!

I am trying to upload my video the night before graduation so look out for that too...

Please dont ask me what is next...because honestly I dont have an exact answer.

I just know I am going to be great no matter what!

This is a very happy time in my life right now and the best is yet to come!
Here is some of the pic I took yesterday as well.

Enjoy!

I HAVE BEEN M.I.A AGAIN

Okay People...

I am apologizing again...so sorry. I am slacking...

I have a good reason though!
My school gave me such a hard time getting simple stuff...acting like it wasnt important that I need to graduate...I am not a freshman! HELLO!

So yeah it truly offical...I have my cap & gown and ready to walk across the stage next week!

I am graduating May 18th so yes my life has been a little hetic so bare with me.

I am no longer a broke college student...but a broke young woman who is seeking employement (someone wanna donate to the cause)?

I took my graduation pictures today and they came out great. So here is a couple for your viewing pleasure.

I will try to update the blog as much as possible...
My journey is not over...this is just the beginning.

Please keep following me...it only gets better!

Enjoy.

TO THE MAN I CARE ABOUT

Resubmitted via Myspace Blog

To the Man I Care About Category: Romance and Relationships

He probably will never read this but anyways...

This is dedicated to the man I care about.I met you not too long ago and you changed my life. I may not speak on it everyday or at all because sometimes I cant express in human words how much you mean to me.

Yes we had our battles, some we are still fighting, but surprisingly we are still here. There are things I wish I could change, for the sake of our present not being so cloudly. For our trust levels to be stronger, for us to open up to one another better.

It is hard...you dont even know the half sometimes. I know that I am truely blessed to have you in my life. Even if it is not what is cracked up to be, I cherish the moments we have the connection. The moments where I can look in your eyes and see you smiling because of me. In those same eyes I see hope, passion, and yes a future in the windows to your soul.

You make me appreciate why things happen for a reason. For me to let go and to be led to you has to be a gift from God. I asked for someone like you, and my father in Heaven delievered.

Sometimes I am scared because I do not want to open up old wounds of a brokenheart, and thats when I just keep faith. Faith that on our bumpy road we will be able to ride smoothly together on this challenging journey we call "life". Patience & Positivity is the only thing that will keep us strong and if we lack one or both, we will lose it all.

From the bottom of my heart, I want this to work more than anything...because I am willing to put in the "work" & even the "overtime" because I believe in you. I believe in "US".

As long as there is a God I will keep the faith and knowing that my Angel on Earth (which is you) is someone worthy of my heart (LTG).

random quotes of my emotions: all so true

RANDOM RAMBLINGS FROM KIWI

• I love the weather today. It is offically Spring [thanks your like 2 weeks late though]

• I am sneezing like crazy because of pollen [its the only thing I am severely allergic to]

•Why am I not surprise Danger smashed the homie? This is the second girl to have connections to Ray J inner cirlce...fishy fishy.

• My car window on my driver side offically stopped working two days ago so I gotta spend $200+ dollars to fix it DAMN!!! [oh and my driver side door stopped working months ago and I been crawling through my passanger so maybe they can fix that too hopefully]

• My ex and I are on okay terms...just through text messages only. I am happy because I can honestly say that I am not "in love" with him anymore and that I am over our 3 year relationship. That is a good place and hope his new son will make him a better man.

•My boyfriend and I are going through something complicated but it will be okay. I have not been stressing it. Men come around when they feel like it I guess...

•These bishes out here could not wait for the sun to come out...got on their shortest shorts and dresses. SMH...Damn shame.

•Is thankful that Auntie Flow came...she was 2 freaking days late and yes I started to panic that I was pregnant [ I told my parent I was pregnant for April Fools and I was about to think the joke was on me and I jinxed myself] Thank you Father God...no babies!!! TMI? I am sorry, but be happy for me please.

•Still has not filed my taxes...hey its not April 15th. So what I am a procrastinator...Dont Judge Me.

•Is going to graduate next month and I hate school more than ever now because its agitating me. I am done with all of my PR classes I feel like I am wasting my time.

•Really hopes I get a job in my field...I am so scared sometimes that I will not be because of this crappy economy but by God's grace anything is possible.

•Needs to get my camera fixed...still got sand in it from Miami...need to get this fixed ASAP because I wanna post pictures on this blog and put up Youtube videos!

•My mother gets on my nerves. I love her dont get me wrong but she is the most pestimistic/nagging/non-supportive person I have ever met in my life...and it upsets me sometimes because its like she expects the worst from me when all I have been doing pretty much all my life is to do the right thing and make her proud.

•I am also grateful that I have a wonderful father who has never left and has been there for me 100%. Now dont get me wrong not saying my mother has not been there for me but I am going to be honest...if my father was not in my life...if my mother was my only parent and she raised me by herself I would be a different person. I have a balance and I promise myself to my future children that I will not bring them into this world without having "both" parents...I know I needed both and grateful that I did.

•Has been in a nonchalant mood lately...just like f it. F it all. I dont care type of attitude.

•Megan Good is trying to sing and come out with an album. Why? I heard some of it and it sounded like the opposite of her last name.

•Is men crying on TV hot in '09 now? From G's to Gents, Making the Band, Real Chance of Love, Real World...what is this ish??

•Speaking of Bitchassness...I am starting to realize there are more gay men in Atlanta than straight ones and I am serious. I think heterosexual men are now the minority. No lie!

•Why is everyone in my Economics class barely passing...so today was the professor's bday and they got him a Big Cake and Card. Like this was some real kiss ass stuff...but the cake was good! Everyone passes [I hope]!

•I am tired of the 80s baby theme. The florescent colors and such...okay I get it. Let the trend go already its been like 2 years! And the sad part is most of these "80 babies trendsetters" were born after 1989. Stop it! YOU ARE NOT ORGINAL YOU LOOK LIKE EVERYONE ELSE

That's it I am done.

JUST ONE OF THEM DAY...

DISCLAIMER: If you are a guy and you think this is a nasty subject...F-U and grow up and dont read "this" blog.

You know what I hate being a girl sometimes. Especially around certain times of the month.

They call it "That time of the month" or Your time of the month. So its my time of the month eh? Like they make it sound special...so if its my time then I should be excused from work and school, lay in my bed all day, and have someone serve me for Aleve pills and chocolate until my time is over right?

No! Instead we women are given this "time of the month" for a bunch of bullcrap. So I break out severely, I am snappy, I am crying even more because people are so insensitive, I want random cravings, my stomach is bloated and I dont feel as attractive. Yeah this is a wonderful time of the month indeed.

And even though it comes on week out of the month...I hate it! Yes I know I should be happy because the good news is that I am not going to be a parent YAY!!!! But---I still gotta suffer. Why cant the freakin men suffer something huh? Just one lousy symptom? Why can they get a little fat, or they break out, or they bleed [eww]...I am just saying?

These tough macho men would freaking be crying if they knew what the hell a crap felt like. I am starting to believe[ maybe its just me] that when they get kicked in the balls that it dont even hurt like that. That our cramps are 10x worse than their lil kick to their scrotums and they do not know what real pain is. ASSHOLES!!

I always wished that guys could have a period just for 1 week. I would love to see how they act. They would act like little bitches and let the whole world know they are on their period. I even hate that while we gotta not have sex during those time, they are free to do whatever. How come they dont have something to stop them from having sex? What kind of BS is this?

This ish just changes our whole moods. We dont even wanna go anywhere! Like Friday, my friend said she didnt want to go out anymore because she was having PMS symtoms and felt yucky and I completely understood. But guess who dont understand? Men!

Like my dude, I still till this day do not tell him until I am "forced" to tell him that I am on my period. Because I know in the back of their heads they are like "ew" and they wanna stay far far away. He hates that but I dont care...I dont like coming out and saying "Hey you know guess what? I am bleeding today so all sexual activity is gonna be banned for a week until I am done okay?"

Well in reality I have not started my period yet, but I know its coming. Thats another thing I hate, is that I just dont know when exactly it will be here or what time. I wish my period was just perfect, every 15th at 12pm my period will be here. It would make life so much easier.

So to dedicated my feelings right now here is one of my favorite songs and the ultimate PMS songs...One of them Days by Monica!

And she said this song was not about PMS...yeah right. Yes it is!

Side Note: If you wanna learn to deal with your PMS go to http://www.pmscentral.com/. I just thought it was funny they actually have a site to cope with PMS. LOL

RELATIONSHIP: I AM HURT

Today I am going to be serious. I usually joke and play but I am so hurt right now...

Relationships are a hard thing. Yeah its is a beautiful thing when you have one person that you are dealing with, but there is so much that goes into it. Trust, Honesty, Commitment, Time, etc...

It is so hard because its like everything is all good until something comes up.

And arguement, you dont see eye to eye, you dont like what the other person is doing etc...

Everything is damn near perfect until "negativity" gets in the way.I swear I am the type of person who even though I get into an arguement, disagreement, fight, whatever yeah I get emotionally, but I do sit back and think and try to come to a "resolution".

I hate fighting, I hate not having someone listen to my side and see where I am coming from. Because I do see things from another persons perspective and put myself in their shoes and then I start to go "Ok I can see where I was in the wrong, I apologize". But I never get that in return.

I know I am blogging and nobody really knows my situation but I am tired of feeling the way I do. Alot of things are my fault. I hold back alot, I have restrictions, and that is not the real me. Nobody understands I was in a THREE year relationship with someone I was 100% myself with. Sometimes its hard to try to do that again with a new person because everyone is different and I dont want to do things and get myself hurt.

So I put myself in a situation where I think I am saving myself and pushing someone else back. I messed up because now when I finally destroyed the walls around my heart...I feel like I am about to get stabbed in it. As soon as I get over my past hurt and feel like okay I am able to love again...this is what happens?

And it hurts so bad because now I feel like I lost his trust a little. He is starting to doubt me...We been through so much over this 1 1/2 time but I just know that its gonna get better not worse. I have never ever felt like this for a guy ever! Not even in my 3 year relationship...I really believe in us. Even when he acts like this...I think its commitmentphobia or something.

All I can say is I love him and I will just pray this is just a test from God to see how much I really do love him. I admit it I love him more than he knows...Thats why I want this to work.

RANDOM RAMBLINGS: HEY HEY HEY

Hey people!

I have been having bloggers block [who me?]

I guess it happens to the best of us...

I actually have alot on my mind...

-Trying to graduate in May [I hate u Economics!]

-I still need to file my taxes [can you say procrastinator?]

-Need to get my hair done tomorrow 4real

-I need to get my Tags before April

-I need some attention from a certain somebody but he is just ughhhh...

-I need to clean up my house and do laundry [ I need a maid]

But on the real everyone...

I know I been posting pics of my boyfriend and everything because I am excited and all...

But there are still some kinks we need to work out and I just feel like damn...I am tired of playing these stupid stupid games still...

I try not to worry about it...I think about what I learn from the SECRET and I truely apply it to my life...but...He can be very frustrating...

He can just be a damn brick wall sometimes...

I feel like I cant open up to him still and I dont know why he acts like that because it causes me not to want to open up to him either...

I dont wanna go on and on about it...but thats been bothering me lately...

I just want to have good commucation with him...Patience is truely a virtue

Anyways...thats it. Write more maybe tomorrow

P.S. I am pissed my camera is kinda broken right now because I got sand in it last week in SOBE so I cant take pictures or videos for a while :(

I JUST DID SOMETHING SO GAY...

No Offense but I just did the gayest thing ever!!
I made this cute little video motage of me & my boo (LaMarcus Grady!)
I kinda wanna gag myself thats how mushy it is
But its so CUTE!!!

If you hate I will understand...LOL j/k

This is how I feel right now so listen to the song & watch the video please :)

Enjoy.

I FEEL LIKE BAKING A CAKE!

My boyfriend and I in SOBE...I just wanted to be mushy 4 a second.

I heart me some LaMarcus Grady!

IMMMM BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HAD A BLAST IN MIAMI!!!

Yes it was a couples trip so My boo went with me.

WET WILLIES IS DEFINITELY NOT A GAME...

WET WILLIES CALL-A-CAB DRINK LITERALLY MADE ME CALL A CAB...

NO MIXING FAT TUESDAYS WITH WET WILLIES...

COLLINS AVE IS NOTHING BUT HOTELS...

WEARING A BATHING SUIT IS CONSIDERED SINNING...I AM GOING TO HELL

CRACKHEAD JESUS IS COMING...????

CLEARLY YOU CANT BLAME THE ALCHOL FOR BEING A SLUT IT JUST ENHANCES IT...

DAWN & Q WERE SO NICE...OMG I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEM...

HOOPZ DYED HER HAIR BLACK...MY BOYFRIEND WAS SCARED TO TAKE A PIC WITH HER LOL

A LOT Of NEGRO GROW THEIR BEARDS OUT JUST LIKE RICK ROSS...HOW ORGINAL...

MIAMI INK TATS START OFF @ $200...

PEOPLE WILL SLAP WRIST BANDS ON YOU BEFORE YOU CAN EVEN SAY YES ON GOING TO THE CLUB...

SOMEONE IS ALWAYS TRYING TO PULL YOU SOMEWHERE...SOME TYPE OF HUSTLE ALL THE TIME...BUT SOME OF THEM ARE ACTUALLY WORTH IT...

MIAMI WILL TAX YOUR A** FOR EVERYTHING...GRATUITY FOR 2 PEOPLE?

WALKING IN HEELS DOWN THE STRIP...NOT A GOOD IDEA...

FERRARI, BENTLEYS, ESCALADES WERE EVERYWHERE...

PARKING IS A BYTCH...BUT YOU WALK EVERYWHERE...

THE TRAFFIC THERE KINDA REMINDS ME OF NYC...

ITS IS BEAUTIFUL AND I WISH I COULD OF STAYED...

I am so mad @ this...crackhead jesus? www.crackheadjesus.com [artist work supposely]

NO MORE HAIR ISSUES!!!

No More Hair Issues

Yes I got a sew-in...

I could not take doing my hair anymore...

Its just for South Beach...

So yeah I am pleasantly happy about it...

No more complaints about my hair for a while!